Remembering Farida

It was the summer of 2010. I, 28 years old then, was at a crossroads in my life. I was going through some personal setbacks that had shaken the ground under my feet. Four years into my career, I longed to do more, driven by aspirations and ambitious dreams. Lost and dejected by the surprises thrown at me by life, I was striving to be a better version of myself. As a person who stammers, I had just begun accepting my speech after I had started engaging with TISA. Here, I came across the concept of a Toastmasters club, which many members of TISA were exploring in Pune, Mumbai, and Bangalore. I searched on the internet to see if there was a Toastmasters club in Goa. I found a post saying that a club was just getting chartered at Goa YMCA, Panaji. The contact details were of the founding President - Ms. Farida D'Silva Dias. I dialled the number and was greeted by a strong voice at the other end. After expressing my interest and getting all the information, I hesitated and said: "I want to share one thing. I am a person who stammers...". Before I could complete my sentence, she quipped, "That's not a problem. You come!". When I hung up the call that day, little did I know that this was going to be one of the biggest turning points in my quest to rediscover myself. Little did I know that I had just spoken to the person who was about to touch my life in unimaginable ways.

As I embarked on my Toastmasters journey soon after, I was inspired by many exemplary speakers at the club. But the biggest influence was Farida. And I was not alone. The aura of her leadership stood apart. A seasoned Distinguished Toastmaster (the highest title one could earn at Toastmasters) in Qatar, she was the one who pioneered Toastmasters in Goa. She carried everyone together. She was the captain of the ship - the ship that would one day go a long way in creating a new movement of public speaking in the state.

Farida was in her late 60s when I had my early interactions with her. But I was taken aback by her jovial nature, cheeky replies, and innuendos when you least expected them. And yet, she held her ground, put her foot down, and took stern decisions when required. That's the mark of the leader she was!

 Pic: When Farida pushed
me into the waters. 

Farida made me the "Ah-counter" at the ceremonial exhibition meeting on Charter Night. She pushed me by saying, "I am sure you can do it!". I had no idea what was coming. On the night of the event, which was held at Taj Vivanta, Panaji, I saw that the hall was packed with about 100 odd people. All the top print media journalists were present behind a tent card that said "Press". This was the first time ever that I was going to do public speaking in such a high-stakes situation. When it was time, I mustered all the courage and explained my role - The Ah Counter. Holding the mic, I could hear my own voice echoing in the room and said, "I am playing the role of the Ah Counter. And being a person who stammers, who better than me to play this role...". There was a roar of laughter in the audience, and I could see the most excited face winking at me and raising her thumb triumphantly - it was Farida.

As I progressed in my Toastmasters journey, Farida spent a lot of time with me, nurturing me not just in public speaking, but in things beyond that. She pushed me to participate in Speech Contests and Evaluation Contests and spent hours with me while I worked on my speech drafts, practised with her, incorporated her feedback, and rehearsed repeatedly under her guidance. During such practice sessions, she also shared a lot of stories and anecdotes from her life. I also ended up sharing my challenges with stammering with her, and my newfound attitude through TISA. She immediately connected with it and always told me, "Harish, we should spread the word of TISA in Goa. We should do a lot more!".

    Pic: Farida at the 1st TISA Communication Workshop
in Goa. 

She kept her word. She helped me organize the first TISA Communication Workshop in Goa in 2011. She arranged the hall at Goa YMCA, booked rooms, spread the word through her network in the press, and even volunteered to conduct a session for free. Later, in 2016, when I was organizing a TISA National Conference in Goa, she came and stayed for a night and offered a pro bono session on "Choice Therapy", which was about choosing happiness in life.

Mere words cannot do any justice in expressing the way Farida has touched my life - and probably many other lives. She was not just my Toastmasters mentor - she was also a life coach to me. I have been fortunate enough to receive one of the most precious gifts one can receive from anyone - a portion of time from her life.

Dear Farida - you will always stay alive in my memories. In the memories of all the people whose lives you have touched along the way. Thank you for making me what I am today.

Pictures Below: My final memories with Farida, at a celebratory anniversay meeting of Toastmasters in Sept, 2024.